‘It changed my life’: Kitchener woman sharing her story of intimate partner violence to inform, empower others

“I remember the first time I called a support resource,” Amanda Kroetsch, a survivor of intimate partner violence, said.

“I had to sit in my car with a friend, and I must have dialed that phone five times and hung up. It was terrifying, but it changed my life.”

Kroetsch, from Kitchener, spent four years in an abusive relationship. It left her with physical and psychological trauma, disabilities, and a mountain of bills in legal fees.

But now she is sharing her journey and her experience so that others who are currently or who have dealt with intimate partner violence can take the first steps towards healing.

“I remember feeling so ashamed when I realized that I was a person who was in a domestic violence relationship,” she said. “It was shocking, and scary, and shameful, like I had done something wrong. The shame around it is awful and that prevents people from getting help sooner.”

According to Statistics Canada, 80 per cent of people who have experienced intimate partner violence never report the situation to the police.

In Kroetsch’s case, she said even the systems meant to serve and protect victims of intimate partner violence failed her.

Her former partner pled guilty to two charges of assault, but received a conditional discharge, meaning that it wouldn’t affect his criminal record if he behaved for one year following the judge’s ruling.

According to Kroetsch, she’s navigated almost every resource available for victims of abusive relationships, both in Ontario and in British Columbia. She said that while the trained, educated professionals have helped her along the way, the system as a whole isn’t enough to provide adequate support for survivors.

“It hasn’t been this sense of this really lovely safety net to fall into,” said Kroetsch. “It’s all of the organizations locally doing the best they can within their niche to support survivors with not nearly enough funding. It feels like crumbs.”

In 2023, the Region of Waterloo declared intimate partner violence and epidemic, and has called on the provincial government to follow suit.

Opposition leaders have repeatedly called on the Ford government to declare an epidemic so that more provincial resources can be funneled into support, but they have yet to take action on this issue.

“If we don’t acknowledge the severity of what’s going on and the impact that it’s having on everybody’s lives, if we don’t acknowledge the problem, how can we make it better?” Kroetsch questioned.

Kroetsch runs Retail Therapy KW, a thrift store where survivors of intimate partner violence can shop for free. She also founded the Domestic Violence Victims Alliance to help support survivors.

Her healing

As a result of the abuse she received, Kroetsch has been diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder and a mild traumatic brain injury. Because of those disabilities, she’s unable to support herself financially.

“Don’t underestimate the impact that this will have on your life, don’t wait to get mental health support, don’t wait to tell your doctor that it’s something you’re dealing with, don’t wait to share it with your friends and family, and encourage them to support you in your recovery,” she said.

Kroetsch has been accepted into the Women’s Trauma and Concurrent Program at Homewood Health Centre, but the price tag for treatment is steep.

In order to receive the treatment she needs, the bill is between $26,000 and $33,000.

A GoFundMe was started to help send her to Homewood, and has raised more than $16,000 so far.

To help send her to Homewood, visit www.gofundme.com/f/help-amanda-heal-send-her-to-trauma-treatment-at-homewood.

Finding help

If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, there are resources available and ways to seek help here in Waterloo Region.

The Waterloo Regional Police Service’s Intimate Partner Violence Unit responds directly to calls of assault, sexual assault, threatening death or bodily harm, forcible confinement, criminal harassment, stalking, abduction, breach of a court order and property-related offences within abusive relationships.

The police service’s non-emergency line is (519)570-9777, but if you’re actively in danger, call 9-1-1.

Women’s Crisis Services of Waterloo Region hosts a 24/7 crisis support hotline for women and children who are experiencing domestic violence. They also host a free and confidential outreach program. To reach their hotline, call (519)742-5894 or (519)653-2422, or visit www.wcswr.org.

For a robust list of supports available to people across the country, visit www.canada.ca/en/public-health.